Singular Sensation

I sound pretty stuck on myself to have a blog named "Singular Sensation," don't I?

Well I'm not. I mean I definitely have selfish and narcissistic tendencies (but don't we all?), but I don't consider myself a "singular sensation" really. It's from one of my favorite musicals, and I wanted a blog name that showed off one of my passions and Star Wars Geek just wasn't doing it for me. So I decided on using Singular Sensation which is from A Chorus Line and is in reference to the song that says "one singular sensation every little step she takes."

Which brings me to what I originally set out to blog about: my passion for theatre.

Tonight at a family birthday party, I found a DVD that had scenes from my last theatrical performance: musical theatre final directing scenes. I played June in Gypsy and Yonah in Children of Eden (both of which were amazing roles to play). I was also directing a scene from Once on this Island. So this DVD that my dad was returning to me had all three of those on it. I watched them tonight and remembered that during the time that I was doing these three scenes, I was also working on monologues, a 16 bar song, and a small 7 minute scene for my Senior Showcase (a performace of all the seniors doing audition pieces for a group of agents from New York and Dallas).

For four years I was seeped in theatre. I lived in the performing arts building. There were times when I was in rehearsal 36 hours a week, working 20 hours a week, taking 18 hours of class(most of which were for my degree- theatre), as well as rehearsing scenes. And my friends and I would whine good-naturedly (and sometimes not so good-naturedly) about all the scene work and directing scenes we were working on on top of "regular" homework for classes like Playwriting and History of Theatre.

And now I'm not doing anything related to that. It's like being cut off cold turkey. I ACHE to be on stage, to be rehearsing, to be dancing with Terry (the fabulous nazi that she was), to be up until 1:30am working on a scene (because all the other NORMAL time slots were taken), to be going to voice lessons, to be furiously memorizing monologues and filling out last minute blocking notation. I miss it.

I miss it so much that I will do monologues in my room by myself. I will work on things that I know I will never perform in front of people. I sing in my car and think about the action that I am playing and how I would write it down in my beat book. I write scenes for myself to perform with an invisible person. I create performance art pieces in my dreams and scribble them down when I wake up hoping that I will one day get the chance to put them on. I hear songs as I'm driving and I think of how I would block them.

And I can only think of one way to get rid of this, but I'm afraid.