All you need is love? Part III

I have a hard time understanding my spirit. You know, not my bodily form, but the essence of me. The part in me that is unique and unlike anyone else on this earth. I have a hard time grasping that in every person has a snowflake-like personality, no two are the same.

Deanna and I were having a conversation about relationships about a month ago. It blows my mind how people become friends, mentors, lovers... it's like a melding of spirits. You can get along with someone who is your complete opposite or you can barely make conversation with someone who on paper looks like they should be your perfect match. How does that happen? How do people fall in love!? What is attraction? Why am I best friends with Deanna? How do you make friends?

I know a lot of time it has to do with the things that you enjoy and the things you bond over... but why do you like those things? It's because of something inside of you, that spirit thing, that essence of who you are...

For instance, I am Lauren. I am a spunky, friendly, God-loving girl (I can't quite bring myself to believe that I'm a woman yet...). I speak without thinking, I'm sarcastic, I have an uncanny way of melding into any situation to make myself feel comfortable. I love my family. I like to read and write and watch movies and television. I hate the beach (see old blog HERE) and love the mountains. I want all my friends to move to one place so I can see them all on a daily basis. I hate to disappoint people and will do anything to make people proud of me. I am type A and perhaps on the verge of being obsessive compulsive. I can't go to bed without my room being clean. I have a tendency to obsess about things (Harry Potter, Star Wars, The Office, Lost...) as a form of escapism. I love the Bible when I start to read it, but have a hard time making myself most days. I have a fear of commitment. I haven't been head over heels in love before. I struggle with giving God control of my life. I want to marry someone who is the perfect mixture of Jesus and Jim Halpert. I want my children to have red hair.

And that's only a snippet of me! I am so much more. It is amazing to me that everyone is that complex. We only see snippets of people every day. They are so much more than what they are presenting to you. But people manage to work through all that and become more.

And this is why (in my simple, non scientific mind) I believe wholeheartedly in the Lord. Because I can't comprehend anything being created this complex by accident. The love I have in my heart had to come from somewhere and I believe that it is from God. It's hard to explain my reasoning, especially in writing.

But there it is. This spirit, this love... it is full on evidence of my heavenly father. I guess in my naivete I can find no other reason why each human could have these things inside of us. There's no scientific basis for it.

God is Love.