3:33

Yesterday afternoon, I did something that I haven't done since probably Camp Bandina.

I wished on my cell phone when it read "3:33." Judge me, I know it's a little pathetic.

But what's even more sad is that it was almost involuntary. I mean I looked at my cell and saw that it not only read the same digits, but that it read 3 3s and automatically a name popped into my head.

And again, what's even worse is that I didn't even wish for what I've been praying for. You know, the logical and ultimately most important things, like what I'm going to do with my life and following my dreams and what-not. No, I fell back to a time where Deanna, Ashley, and I would blow kisses to the cabins our crushes were residing in at camp right before bed. A time where we giggled how when we would pray, the guys faces that we liked would pop into our head. A time where we wished on clocks and watches (but not cell phones because we didn't have cell phones back then). I silently wished for a person.

And this person isn't even a logical person. He lives far away and we don't even talk that much. And I know that it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I had a dream about him the night before (in which we decided very rashly to get engaged and then decided to hide it from our friends because they would judge us on how quickly we were making the decision) and probably a lot to do with the perpetual loneliness that I feel, and a long conversation about boys that I'd had with Deanna the day before (which I'm sure is why I had the dream in the first place).

But what I can't get is how I could do it without realizing it. I haven't done it in years. Am I going to start wishing upon my necklace charms and stars now too?

And I wonder if maybe I've been so worried about the more important things in my life (job, future, etc) that my subconscious just needed a short break to dream about a handsome guy sweeping me off my feet.