Past week in quotes

"I've replaced love with Smallville and shakes."

"They probably didn't even have him read anything. They [the auditors] were probably like 'take your shirt off, turn around,' and he got the part."

"Curses! I thought I was above the spectre of television!"

"I don't want him and Lorelai to get divorced, I just want Christopher to get run over by a bus. Him and Hugh Hefner."

"Uh oh! Chloe's gone all Carrie at the prom!"

"I've got a stoplight story for ya..."

"A HOT POTTER!"

"It was me against the old people and I really wanted to race them but I held myself back."

"Who's his lord?"